Equanimity

The definition of equanimity as I understand it is: mental calm, composure and serenity in challenging situations.  Of course as with most definitions of broad terms, I find that to be an over simplification, but that is a fair place to begin.  Equanimity as practice is not nearly as simple as it sounds (really, that is the big theme for me with Buddhist practice, it all sounds so simple, then the monkey mind takes over, and the experience is wholly different).  There is a great dharma talk by Larry Ward on Equanimity that I used to listen to at least once a week generally while I was driving through Los Angeles, because it seemed most appropriate; within the talk, he says that driving is great equanimity practice.  A big misunderstanding about equanimity is that it means indifference, but the exact opposite is actually true; it is presence so deep that peace is possible (also from Larry’s talk).

Have you found yourself in situations where the urge to lash out is almost too much? Or where you are overwhelmed by the energy around you (can be positive, negative, nervous, or anywhere between)?

Equanimity is one of the four sublime states in Buddhism, and by cultivating it; we can help to alleviate our suffering. Thich Nhat Hanh says (in The Heart of the Buddha’s Teaching, p. 161) that the Sanskrit word upeksha means “equanimity, nonattachment, nondiscrimination, even-mindedness, or letting go. Upa means ‘over,’ and iksh means ‘to look.’ You climb the mountain to be able to look over the whole situation, not bound by one side or the other.”

It is so much easier to be reactionary and emotional in the face of both pleasant and unpleasant experiences; to take inherently personal the energies that are thrown around. At one point early in my practice, I had a mantra for dealing with a particularly unpleasant supervisor: “do not own it if it is not yours”. It was my second experience dealing with someone who was incredibly passive aggressive and I found practice to be incredibly helpful.  On the flip side, it can also be easy to glaze over or disregard the pleasant experiences, always looking forward or back to try to capture (or recapture) without noticing the beauty in the present, not being gracious in interactions with others.

Some great places for equanimity practice include travel (any kind really, but airplane travel especially lately is exceptional); driving – as much as you think that everyone else is there in your way, you are also keeping them from getting where they need to go; grocery shopping, because it is only when you are in a hurry that the lines are long or the aisles are packed; and really, equanimity practice is applicable everywhere, with everyone.

Another great way of looking at equanimity practice is that all beings have their own karma to work out. Individual happiness or unhappiness depends on our own actions or in-actions, and everyone has to do the work for themselves.  This can be very difficult or very easy to put into practice. I find that I would like to help to alleviate the suffering of others, but it is a fine walk on the tightrope to where my happiness and balance can be disrupted to attempt to see to the end of suffering for others. I now try to listen when friends or family (or strangers on a plane, or at a bus stop, etc.) need to talk through their “stuff” and send them loving kindness, but not judge, not intervene (sometimes that is SUPER difficult) and acknowledge that we are all on our own paths, working out our own stuff. Our stuff is not better, not worse, but looking over everything, we are all here together.

How do you view equanimity? Is it a regular part of your practice?